Curling up under a rock please!

So this past week has been a dousy - one that really should have been turned into a comic strip.

Monday - gave small toddlers Nutrigrain bars to snack on during the ride to daycare. Note: Small toddlers do not actually like said Nutrigrain bars. While getting Sophie out of her car seat, she stealthy flung the Nutrigrain bar onto my seat without me noticing. Running pressed for time as I get back in the vehicle, I do not check the seat for any such items. Turn up the music and dance in my seat while driving to work to get me pepped up for the day. Go into building, clock in, and proceed with normal work day for over an hour. During this time I also dance around to the music playing on the pa system. Go to help a customer and slide my thumbs into my back pockets - at which point my fingers stick to the outside of the pocket. Made worse when I realized the flavor selection was strawberry.

Tuesday - Agreed to purchase a used computer desk from an advertisement posted on KSL (think craigslist type thing) Owner is located in a small town about 30 minutes away (supposedly) on the other side of the canyon. Head out late to pick up desk due to Zackie having a case of monkey syndrome and mistaking me for a tree. Drive down, as usual getting the moderate amount of amusement that there are horses and cows grazing along the main highway - meaning stick out your hand and touch them close. See sign advertising "Fresh Pork and Lamb" and notice that said animals happen to be happily lolling about underneath. Enter the canyon and observe a flashing sign announcing "Use caution - wildlife on roadway." They weren't joking either - lots and lots of wildlife was running about in broad daylight.

Get through canyon of doom and pass by the store that is "Tropical fish, craft and hobby, custom word carvings" all in one, which is conveniently located next to the goat farm. Realize I am way too much of a city kid for all of this outdoorsy/country stuff. Go to purchase desk and owner cannot make change, but assures me that there is a gas station a couple miles up if I make a right at the stop sign. Good - because there hasn't been a gas station or anything but fruit stands and a fresh beef market for over 20 miles.

I have no faith that the gas station in question actually exists. I drove for 20 minutes, got soundly lost, and ended up at Smith and Edwards - which is also an ace hardware, cowboy supply and military surplus shop. Their motto is that "We've got everything - you just have to find it." They do have everything - much to my amazement and amusement. Parachutes, diapers, bullets, a taxidermed bear, saddles, bridles, lassos...I got lost and couldn't find the exit for several minutes while inside the store. But it was really fun looking at things I had never even seen in person before. The wall of mounts was a little disturbing - as was the fishing lures that were bigger than any fish I have ever caught. Decided that I would have to bring the kids there on a rainy day just to explore and play - it could probably kill at least six or seven hours.

Left my cash in the car, so I figured I would just get change from my debit card - wrong answer.

Find my way back to the owner's house and head the other way in search of a gas station. Find one, get change, and get the desk. All in all, the one hour trip took two and a half. Figure as long as my evening is shot, might as well get my hair trimmed and pick up a few things at Walmart once I get back to the "city." (Have I ever mentioned that Midland is a metropolis compared to Logan? If I haven't, I am now.) Ignore the "falling rock" sign as I drive back through the canyon.

Hair was trimmed without incident, except for an excessive wait. Went to Walmart and was actually able to remember everything that I have been meaning to pick up and get it into my cart - the replacement tube for Chloe's bike tire, the bath tub plug, (hair dye kit - comes into play later), wash cloths, milk and so on. I didn't mention that it was storming on this particular day. Walmart looses power. Walmart looses back up generator power. Employees are sent scurrying through the dark asiles, sans flashlights but using cell phones for light, to get everyone to the front to check out while the registers run off auxiliary power. Unfortunately they can only use the two lanes they had open, and the registers at the jewelry, electronics, and customer service counters are already down. Wait in line for twenty minutes - at which point the last registers go down and everyone is escorted from the building without their merchandise.

Wait! There is another Walmart. We have nothing except two Walmarts, a Kmart, Sam's Club, and Shopko. I ask if anyone knows the number to the other Walmart to see if their power is down as well. Another customer ends up calling his wife to ask after the employees fail to locate the other store's phone number or a phone book. They have power. Yay!

Drive to other end of town and go into Walmart. Forget 90% of what I remembered at the other store.

Wednesday - Got through day moderately okay. Ran late in the morning, and late back from lunch due to Chloe deciding that changing from shoes to sandals was an emergency and she could not leave school to be dropped off at daycare before it was done. Decide to put computer desk together - when tipping it upright, Melodie gets distracted and computer desk drops onto my thigh - making a two inch cut and a bruised area the size of a soft ball. Ouch. The computer desk does not fit in the intended area, so all furniture in the living room now has to be moved so that the computer can reside in an area where people will use it and it won't hack up lint balls from the dryer.

Thursday - Went fine, and got a lot accomplished. Well except for some issues with Department of Workforce Services, which is like the Department of Human Services in Michigan. They decided to close my case due to not having enough paperwork in the verification process. I called and said "Hey, you never notified me you needed this paperwork. More than happy to give it to you - mind giving me an extension before you close my case and leave my children without medical coverage?" Their answer " We don't send out notifications of what additional paperwork we need from you - we just automatically close your case. Get the paperwork in when you can, but we are not going to back date any coverage." Good to know. Unfortunately it is all paperwork I do not have and I require from Michigan, and they won't fax it. NO ONE gets to break anything or get sick until this is straightened out.

Decide that it would be a great time to dye my hair with a dye from the box. Normal people probably would have reviewed the week, which also included stepping on tacks, getting fingers smashed, hair dryer breaking, and the laptop now being so outdated that it is incompatible with itself, and said, you know maybe not. But I was not deterred and carried on as planned.

Friday - woke up at 6:50 to the sound of Chloe playing on the computer (which she is not supposed to touch without permission) and the realization she had turned off my alarm. I have to be to work at 7:00. Tell said child that she will be talked to later, and run around in frantic frog (Kermit from the Muppets) fashion getting myself and small children ready to go and out the door. Look into mirror while brushing hair - OMG there is a calico cat on my head. Nope, that is just my hair...

Get to work and realize that the normal tooth pain I have been dealing with for over a year is now unbearable. Really really unbearable. I cannot even drink water, and food has become my enemy. Informed my manager that I was going to have to leave, and started calling around for appointments to get in on an emergency basis. Found one at a reasonable time and price, and went it at 10:45. It seems that my wisdom teeth are not wise, but the epicenters of evil - with live tissue and nerves exposed. The dentist thinks that it does not need a surgical referral and he can just extract it at his office...could I come back at 1:00? Sure. About this time I remember that not only was Melodie's birthday party tonight (which I hadn't forgotten) but she was also having friends spend the night (which I did forget). Use time in between the appointments to pick up popcorn, popcorn flavorings, pop, and other supplies for the hoard of teenage girls that are due to invade my house in the evening. Go back to the dentist.

I have never had a problem with needles. Nope, I am one tough chickie. Then again, I have never had to have needles stuck into my gums before either. Decide that this is not going to become a new hobby. After completely numbing the left side of my mouth, the dentist concluded he cannot do the extraction after all. Instead he sands down my bottom teeth (you know, the teeth that are highly sensitive to little things like temperature and such, they aren't helped by sanding) and then breaks open my wisdom teeth, puts in a medicine capsule, and cements them closed. This should help for anywhere between a week and a couple months, but I schedule an appointment in July to have my wisdom teeth removed anyway. Yes, that is plural because though I went in for my left side, he did this same procedure on the top right side as well. By the way, it was observed by all the staff that my wisdom teeth are unusually far back in my mouth. So I end up paying over two hundred dollars to fix teeth that are coming out in two months. This isn't as thrilling as it sounds.

The left side of my mouth and my tongue remained numb into Saturday morning, which made it difficult to eat or talk.

On the plus side, Melodie had forgotten to invite her friends to spend the night, and so it was just a party with giddy girls watching movies, eating popcorn, and playing on the Wii. Everyone had fun, and everyone went home - leaving me moderately free to curl up under a rock and come out when the world promises to be nice again. Just as soon as I marinate the chicken, take Chloe to her friend's birthday party, scrub the bathtub, flip the laundry.....

Keep Walking....

Windows open and warm breezes blowing, I sit down and realize I am so sore! We finally are starting to be consistently warm - it hasn't even snowed in over a week :) With the onset of warm and sunny weather, we have been outside playing at parks and walking everyday. Our multiple trips during the week to the library have become adventurous excursions as that we have been walking and choosing different routes - added adventure points due to keeping toddlers in strollers, retrieving objects thrown in a projectile fashion from said stroller and their hands off shelves.

I can't believe how quickly my children are growing. When I snuggle Zackie while putting him to sleep, he still seems like a little baby, but yesterday at the park he refused to go down the slide - saying "No - too high! Too high!" Sophie charged this same slide, which does send you down at an amazing velocity, (it is a tube style twirly slide, and the kids literally pop out the end) even when she came out the bottom with a bump and ended up landing face first on the mulch chips. Everyday they grow more independent and say things that surprise me - such as Sophie pointing out accurately a hawk in the sky.

Melodie is going to be 12 in a couple weeks. She is, as she always has been, just absolutely amazing. I am so excited for her to be entering this point in her life - where she gets to visit the temple, participate in young women's activities, go to girl's camp, and start exploring in depth who she is, and who she really wants to be. At the same time, I wish I could hold on tight to her childhood years just a little bit longer. I miss the little girl who cuddled on my lap for stories and snuck in to sleep with me at night.

Chloe is as vibrant as sunshine. She too is growing up far to quickly for my taste. She can read stories on her own now, and has been practicing her cursive and multiplication tables. She has been having a few struggles, such as being diagnosed with ADHD (which left me giving a flustered apology to her counselor after responding "Ya think" when this diagnosis was revealed) and still suffering from some lingering depression we can't seem to shake. But for the most part we have good days, and are excited for the sunny weather when she can ride her two wheeler bike without training wheels.

And so life continues to be good and bless us. With the warmer weather and sunshine we are greeted with amazing scenery - perfect blue skies with cotton ball clouds and backdropped by snow capped mountains. It is beautiful, peaceful, and soul satisfying.

Quoth the Raven

I almost, almost have gotten used to that there are big black ravens out here, and that they have the disturbing habit of landing on the hood of my van while I am praying and cawing surreptitiously. It would be a little more helpful had I not read all those Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Dickens, and Agatha Christie books. I miss cardinals and blue jays, but their replacements have been ever so much more fun. FAT little quail run around in abundance, and it is not uncommon to see pheasants running through the neighborhood yards, or for that matter, wild turkey. At least I know that if hard times come, I won't go hungry....of course that is if all the other gun owning citizens in the valley don't get them first.

It is definitely a different world here, where pretty much everyone owns guns (more than one and legally) and they look at me like I have three eyes and antenna when I mention I don't. That fact is probably going to change, plus I am enrolling the girls in hunter's safety classes. The average person starts shooting and gun ownership out here around the ages of three or four (even the girls - I asked my Bishop's wife, and she said she was three). I don't want my children to cause an accident or worse because they don't know anything about guns or are uncomfortable with them.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. Unfortunately we didn't go outside to enjoy it because my children have continued their strike on cleanliness, and I decided to hold them captive until rooms were clean. Of course that means today, with rooms clean and furniture moved, is an absolutely dreadful chilly and overcast day and taking the perpetually coughing and consistently nose running gruesome threesome of my four children outside to walk around barns and play with brand spanking new farm animals is probably out of the question. But then, if we bundled up and went today, we could avoid the crowds sure to accompany one the highest anticipated events for kids in the valley.

Along with getting the rooms clean, I managed to go through Zackie and Sophie's closets and in a burst of rebellion packed away the heaviest of the winter clothes for next season. I know it is early to do so, but I can't help but try and be optimistic. It has snowed continuously since I moved here, and snow and I are no longer on speaking terms. I also managed to pull out the stray too small clothes, and the clothes that they own but I will never ever let them wear, and should they appear on my child in my presence the result is altogether unpleasant.

Today's list of excitement on the "staycation" - inoculations, bank, WIC clinic (anyone who has ever had to go knows that you need to take camping supplies and food for three days - I have been there over nine hours before) Sam's Club (thanks to free one day passes deposited in my shopping bag at Wally World), library, possibly the DI or another thrift store, and then, if I am feeling real adventurous Target. I have not suddenly struck it rich, in fact just the opposite - I haven't gone shopping other than for groceries in a long enough period of time that we may need to use those t-shirts that have become new members of the rag pile (thanks to red crayons and dryers) as cloth diapers if I don't go. We also need to replace the newly inducted t-shirts and pants. And come up with art supplies less likely to be hiding in tiny nubs inside children's pants pockets.

Some may not have heard my bitterness over that the closest Target is through the dreaded canyon and an hour away, but in case you haven't, I am bitter and periodically suffer symptoms of severe Target withdrawal - especially since diapers, diaper rash ointment, and fruit snacks - all necessities at the moment, are cheaper there. I know that they are non veteran or charitable organization friendly, but due to that their associates are not perpetually incompetent or unfriendly, their prices are comparable or cheaper, and their product is superior, they remain on my favorite store list. How I long for the good old days where there were three Targets within a five minute highway drive from my house - none of that driving requiring navigation through a canyon of doom. But I suppose that I do have something like 15 tractor and farm supply stores - including one that sells tractors in a variety of designer shades, is something to be grateful for.

Golly gee Goliath

As some may or may not know, I am in charge of our "Orange Embrace" program at work. It is not a position I particularly enjoy or stay in voluntarily, but since it pleases that powers that be, so I remain. This often means that my register area is covered completely with paper, markers, glue, and other things that make it resemble 3rd grade arts and crafts. A customer of mine noticed that I was drawing different people and asked if I was an artist. No was a quick response from my lips, but he pressed onwards. His ward is going to be doing a talent show, and he needed help making a life size replica of Goliath. I am not an artist, I maintained, but would be more than happy to help the best I could.

So that is what I found myself doing bright and early in the sunshine this morning for three hours - marking out Goliath's massive form. His head is now gingerly shoved behind my seat for me to work on here at home - making it as three dimensional and fearsome as possible. When I got home, Melodie asked me if I was done with Goliath. No, I sighed in response, there would still be several hours of painting and reworking before Goliath will reach his complete splendor and be presented on the 23rd in the talent show.

"Mom," she replied in exasperation, "Why is it taking so long to make a giant pickle?"

Sunshine and sandwiches

I was hit with the sudden realization the other day that my children are all...well...children. Though this may sound odd, for the first year and a half or so of life, depending on the child, children aren't really children. They are instead a living force somewhat resembling something imagined by Jim Henson and his amazing muppet people that though hitting milestones and developments, still depends on you for absolutely everything. Their likes and dislikes are relative to what you have exposed them to, and what will garner approval from you. Then all of sudden one day they turn the switch from automatic to manual, and from that day forward, you have one wild, breath taking, and fabulous ride. Zachary hit this point a few days ago - and our lives haven't been the same since.

Today is the third day of my official "staycation." It was supposed to be a vacation, but alas it was not in the cards. Rather than picking up shifts at work, I decided to enjoy the time with the kids - our first real down time since moving out here. Monday we walked to the park and the library, and were rained on for the walk home. Tuesday we stayed inside - huddled together against the four inches of accumulated snow outside, and today was library and park again. Though seemingly a mundane pattern, it still was filled with moments of surprise - like surprise that wet spot on the couch was not from the leaking sippy as previously thought.

Sophie has been speaking in complete sentences for a while now, and last night recited the whole entire story of the three little pigs, complete with plenty of "huff and puff." Zachary is still doing one word at a time, but has mastered inflection, proper response, and sarcasm. (Being pushed on the swing while he laid on his stomach garnered a "wee" with as much enthusiasm as one might expect if he was being presented a spoonful of cod liver oil) Since he can say words like "dinosaur" and has been able to for a while, I suspect there is more vocal capability there then what he is demonstrating, but prefers to present himself as the strong and stoic type.

If he is going to carry off the strong and stoic thing, he is probably going to have to ditch the motto "Everyone deserves a little sparkle" especially when carried out with mass amounts of rhinestones, glitter, and his sister's tutus. We are currently trying to focus this energy in the direction of pirates and musketeers...and I personally am thrilled with his new penchant for trains...though trying to explain that not everything is a train or destined to make the choo choo noise has been a little more difficult....

Beheaded Barbie is indeed Broken - brought to you by the letter "B"

Sophie came up to me just a few minutes ago with a head in one hand and a body in the other and informed me that her "Barbie broke." The title of this post was my response. Poor Barbie, we loose so many good ones that way....

Aside from the lessons on decapitation and plastic resiliency, we had quite an enjoyable weekend this weekend, which was a well deserved variance from the chaos that has dominated the past few before this.

For those that don't know, Melodie's dad has recently moved out to Utah, only about an hour away. This provides a unique situation, since we have not resided in the same state, let alone within reasonable driving distance, since she was a year old. Prior to February 5, she had not seen him since 2006. Right now we are trying to establish a workable comprehensive visitation arrangement, but needless to say there are inherent bumps and spills along the road.

Couple the changes in circumstances with potty training, teeth loosing, school registration, summer sport sign up, inoculations, and the flu that will not leave, and our well was running a little dry....so despite airline tribulations, having my friend Chris from Phoenix visit was a great respite.

The kids and Chris got to experience some new things together - we went to Angie's, a local restaurant that is the very pinnacle representative of small town everybody knows everybody atmosphere, which is also conveniently a block from my house. Angie's is always busy - but the kids were awesome.

This was followed with our first trip to Willow Park Zoo, a cute little zoo here in town that I can't wait to go to again. I think it is a safe bet to say that we will be spending many spring and summer evenings there, as well as at the adjacent park and play area.

Some of the most fun was probably found in the flurry of excitement from some sword play - Nerf style. Chris purchased four Nerf swords on Friday night at Walmart, and as most of you saw on my Facebook page, plenty of enjoyment followed.

Time machines, memories and dreams

"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams" - Jeremy Irons

While I have been busily straightening the house, preparing for a weekend guest from out of state, I finally managed to unpack the last few boxes from our move. I have also managed to vacuum out the van for the first time since our arrival (it should be noted that frosted mini-wheats, no matter how much children like them, are NOT good travel food) , and post some recent pictures on Facebook. It is only now that I realize we have been here almost five months. Five months? It seems almost hardly possible. Even though some of the very cold and snowy days have felt individually endless, it also feels like we just got here a few weeks ago.

We had great travel weather - bright, sunny, and gorgeous the entire time. Nothing dramatic happened, unless you count that we subsisted pretty much the entire drive off of McDonald's, there were a few desperate miles of waiting to find civilization, and the lone rest stop resembled something that would make "The Shining" seem like hospitable and feel good. We also learned that slight incline and 90 degree demon drop can mean the same thing on directions, and that will power alone will not cause a van to drive over 35 mph if it is climbing a mountain and pulling an overloaded trailer.

People came out of the wood work to help when we arrived - providing enough cooked meals to last us two weeks, and unloading the van, trailer, and car top carrier so quickly I barely got the word "Hi" out before they were done.

We have been incredibly blessed to have a great ward, good neighbors, and a generally open hearted community. Upon learning that we were new comers, people made sure I knew where everything was, what numbers to call, and had recommendations on where to go for everything from pediatric care to Popsicles. To ease some of the scramble for Halloween costumes, we were able to borrow from my visiting teaching companion - and we got to experience the annual Pumpkin Walk - which is a walk through of displays comprised of scenes made out of pumpkins, and ended with cider and cookies.

Was the move everything I hoped for? Absolutely. I could not have done a better thing for my family. Every time I step outside, even now, I am swept away by the beauty and majesty of the scenery surrounding our small community. There is simply no way to capture it, on film or in words. It is truly awesome.

Moving here allowed me to transfer into a full time position with Home Depot, with a set schedule and guaranteed hours. I have weekends off, and get out early enough in the afternoon that I can have some quality time with the kids before they go to bed. They go to better and safer schools - I get calls on a regular basis from parent volunteers at the middle school with kudos from the teachers on Melodie's performance in the classroom, and Chloe's school secretary has even gone as far as to help arrange transportation for Chloe to go to birthday parties.

Shortly before Christmas I finally caved and cut Zachary's hair, primarily because my little monkey man had started pulling it back into pony tails on his own. Zachary copy cats everything Sophie does, which means I am now potty training two toddlers, though only one of which is ready - and the standard warning issued to unsuspecting visitors in our house is "Watch out for puddles." I am also getting the special treat of some spectacular tantrums thrown by two very stubborn and opinionated toddlers.

Speaking of toddlers, it is their bedtime. More to write later, such as the many deaths of the parakeets, the recent updates with Melodie, and the desperate search through pictures to determined if the newly lost tooth was indeed supposed to actually come out......